These have been collected from years of e-mail, faxes, and so on. With that very few authors are known. Credit is given if known.
'Twas the night before christmas..
| Some Assembly Required (for
parents)
A Computer's Nite (for computer geeks) The Night Before Finals (for collage students) |
The Week Before Christmas (for teachers) |
| The 12 Bugs of Christmas
(for computer users)
Twelve Purrrrrrfect Days of Christmas (feline) |
The
Twelve Pains of Christmas
A Puppy's 12 Days of Christmas Twelve
Days of Christmas
|
| Santa Paws is Coming to Town | Barbie's Letter to Santa
Ten Reasons why a Christmas Tree is Better Than a Woman Holiday Guidelines (doggie) |
How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!
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The Santa Claus at the mall was more than a trifle surprised
when
a beautiful young lady about twenty years old walked
up and sat
on his lap but Santa quickly recovered, and started talking
to the college-type
"And what do you want for Christmas?" asked Santa.
"Something for my mother, " said the young lady.
"Bring for your mother? Well, that's wha call thoughtful,'' smiled Santa. "What can I get her?"
After thinking for a moment, the girl brightened, turned to Santa and said:
"I'd like for her to get a son-in-law "
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Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.
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What if it had been three Wise Women instead of three
Wise Men?
They would have asked directions,
arrived on time,
helped deliver the baby,
cleaned the stable,
made a casserole,
and brought practical gifts.
***************
What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Ribbon hood.
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What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmastime?
Sandy Claus!
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One evening, in a busy lounge, a reindeer walked in the
door,
bellied up to the bar and ordered a martini. Without
batting
an eye, the bartender mixed and poured the drink, set
it in front of the reindeer,
and accepted the twenty-dollar bill from the reindeer.
As he handed the reindeer some coins in change, he said,
"You
know, I think you're the first reindeer I've ever seen
in here."
The reindeer looked hard at the change and said,"Hmmmpf.
Let me tell you something, buddy. At these
prices,
I'm the last reindeer you'll see in here."
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What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.
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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets
all the credit.
***************
What goes Ho, Ho, Swoosh, Ho, Ho, Swoosh?
Santa Claus caught in a revolving door.
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Why does Scrooge love Rudolph?
Because every buck is dear to him.