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Snake humor!
Oh how cute...
Like to see more like the one above?
You might be a herper if...
These are not my writings, but parts of a humor thread I enjoyed on Slither. If you can think of some more, send them in.

The main reason that rainforests throughout the world are depleting is because of the growing population of tree snakes.

I've heard that spitting cobras and camels get along really well together.

Is it true that sand boas are going to inhabit and destroy the beaches of the great lakes?

My milk snakes are slimming down in size. Should I change from skim to 2%?

My eastern fox snake is very old and doesn't seem as sly as it use to be? In the upcoming years will it be able to catch foxes on its own?

What about Bushmasters or Tree Pythons or Olive Pythons or ....those jolly green giant snakes. And then theres corn Snakes ... hmm.. anyone think of any more "vegetarian" snakes?

Seriously, it is unreal how many people ask what kind of corn corn snakes like best --- popped, on the cob, boiled, white, w/butter etc etc

Watersnakes are the cheapest of all to feed.

Rock pythons, ground boas and mud snakes are almost as cheap to feed as water snakes.

A single bull, will last a Bullsnake a long, long, time.

Some snakes are really a pain to feed, such as eyelash vipers.

My ex-wife started out as a Beauty snake but at the end she must have morphed into a House snake as my house vanished when she left.

The Children's Python must have eaten the kids 'cause they also disappeared when the wife left!

Does anyone know what I can feed my Rhino vipers? Rhinos are endangered so I am having trouble keeping the freezer stocked;-)

I am sorry to hear about your problem with keeping Rhinos. Perhaps you should switch to Ball Pythons - a quick trip to the toy store . . . . .

What do you Americans feed your King snakes?

Here in America we can feed the Kennedy's to our King snakes, and it is about time that we feed the Queen to all the Royal Pythons out there!

We've got royalty that fulfill no useful purpose, maybe we could share them with the owners of Royal pythons.

Now where can I get my hands on a politician mamba and an estate agent viper?

Then there's the Pigmy python. Look out short folks!

What happens to the rest of a pig after a hognose snake is finished with him?

Will indigo snakes eat your Levi's?

Is it even legal to feed a Mexican milksnake?

Who's brave enough to feed a Panther chameleon?

Okay okay I know this is a dumb one but what should I feed my Burmese Python? My freezer isn't big enough to house frozen Burmese people!

Also wouldn't it get expensive to feed a diamond back rattler?

And as for my cats where do I get some Siamese people? And how to I move those Himalyain mountains to feed my long haired Hamalyan cat? And... since I have a chocolate lab where do you find those chocolate covered labratories?

Imagine the problems involved in trying to force-feed baby tiger snakes, and where would you keep the food for the taipans ?

Feeding A Rubber Boa :) Shouldn't take much to keep it happy, a couple of erasers a week?

I am all out of rubber, will latex do?

I think latex is close enough, you could try it. My snake is rather boring, I guess. She is a rat snake, and therefore only eats rats

Oh no!!! My Rosy Boa will be here in a week or so, and I don't know where to get these types of roses!! What do I do ?

Pennies for the Copperheads

Shruberry for Bush Vipers

Eyeglasses for a Spectacled Cobra or Monocled Cobra

House Snakes could really cost you

And if you fed your Rainbow Boa, can you keep the gold in the end.