Why don't angry witches ride their brooms?

They're afraid of flying off the handle

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?

No body

What do skeletons say before they begin dining?

Bone appetit !

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

Dayscare centers

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?

His ghoul friend

What's a monster's favorite play?

Romeo and Ghouliet

What do witches put on their hair?

Scare spray

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?


What kind of mistakes do spooks make?

Boo boos

What kind of cereal do monsters eat?


 What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?

Count Duckula

What does Tweety Bird say on Halloween?

Twick or Tweet 

Where do spooks water ski?

On Lake Erie

What happened to the guy who didn't pay his exorcist?

He was repossessed

What does a ghost eat for lunch?

 A BOO-logna sandwich

Where do mummies go for a swim?

To the dead sea

What's the ratio of a pumpkin's circumference to its diameter?

Pumpkin Pi

Where do ghosts buy their food?

 At the ghost-ery store

Where do ghosts mail their letters?

At the ghost office

What's a ghosts favorite ride at the carnival?

The roller ghoster

How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?

With a pumpkin patch

When does a skeleton laugh?

When something tickles his funny bone

Why was the mummy so tense?

He was all wound up

Where did the goblin throw the football?

Over the ghoul line

What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?

Spare ribs

What do goblins mail home while on vacation?


What is a ghost's favorite party game?


What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?


What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost?

You look boo-tiful tonight

What is a ghost favorite article of clothing?


What does a ghost put on his cereal in the morning?

Boonanas and Booberries

 What kind of roads do ghosts haunt?

Dead Ends

Who did the ghost invite to his party?

Anyone he could dig up!

What is a monster's favorite food?

Ghoul scout cookies

What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?

I'm bone to be wild!

Why does Dracula consider himself a good artist?

Because he likes to draw blood!

When do gholes cook their victims?

On Fry Day

What's a vampire's favorite candy?

A sucker

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?

Hoblin Goblin

What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?


When does a ghost have breakfast?

In the moaning.

What do ghosts drink at breakfast?

Coffee with scream and sugar.

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?

A sand-witch

What do ghosts eat for dinner?


What's a ghosts favorite fruit?


What's a ghosts favorite desert?

Boo-berry pie.

Why do girl ghosts go on diets?

So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?

At the casketeria. 

Why was the ghost such a messy eater?

Because he was always a goblin. 

What tops off a ghost's ice cream sundae?

Whipped scream. 

What is a Mummie's favorite type of music?


What song does Dracula hate?

"You Are My Sunshine"

What type of monster really loves dance music?

The boogieman! 

Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?

Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?

He had no body to dance with.

What do ghosts say when something is really neat?


What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?

A boo-tie.

Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?

He didn't have a haunting license. 

Where did the goblin throw the football?

Over the ghoul line. 

What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?

A toasty ghosty. 

What kind of makeup do goblins  wear?


Who was the most famous ghost detective?

Sherlock Moans

Which building does Dracula visit in New York?

The Vampire State Building. 

Where do most werewolves live?

Howllywood, California

Where do most goblins live?

North and South Scarolina

What do you call a little monsters parents

mummy and deady

What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon.


What instrument do skellitens play?


Why did't the skelliten cross the road?

He had no guts

Why do vampires scare people?

They are bored to death

How can you tell a vampire likes baseball?

Every night he turns into a bat. 

What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?

It's a pain in the neck.

How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?

All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

How does a girl vampire flirt?

She bats her eyes.

Why doesn't anybody like Dracula?

He has a bat temper.

Who does Dracula get letters from?

His fang club.

Why did Dracula take cold medicine?

To stop his coffin.

How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?

Give him screws.

What can't you give the headless horseman?

A headache

Why did the headless horseman go into business?

He wanted to get ahead in life.

Where does a ghost go on vacation?

What do you call two witches living together?


What do you call a witch's garage?

A broom closet.

Why does a witch ride a broom?

The Vacuum cleaner's poweer is cord it too short.

What do they teach in witching school?

Why don't mummies take vacations?

They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?

Because demons are a ghouls best friend

Why did the ghost go into the bar?

For the Boos

What kind of dog does Dracula have?

A Bloodhound

What do you give a vampire with a cold?

Coffin Drops!

Why did the vampire quit the baseball team?

They would only let him be BAT boy

Why didn't Dracula get married?

He never met a nice Ghoul

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